Back to the Bible. So far, it’s just really boring. I can’t believe anyone read this thing through and decided, “Hey! This would be a great model for a huge, world-controlling religion.” But I digress.
37: So Jacob plays favorites again, loving Joseph more than any of his other children. The parents in this book suck. Anyway, he makes him a coat, which is all very nice, but naturally Joseph’s siblings get pissed because he gets everything and they’re ignored.
Joseph, who seems a little lacking in the common sense department, goes on to tell his brothers that he dreamed he was more important than him. His father scolds him, while his brothers plot to kill him. They throw Joseph into a pit and then sell him to some traders, who take the boy to Egypt. The brothers return home and tell their father that Joseph was killed by animals.
38: Ok, some guy named Judah does some stuff, but maybe I should be making a character chart, because I have no clue who he is. God starts killing people for no apparent reason. “Er was wicked in the sight of the LORD, and LORD put him to death.” Do we know why? Silly question – of course not. Then Onan, who is told to sleep with Er’s wife so Er may have vicarious children, refuses, and god kills him too.
Judah’s daughter in law, Tamar, sits on the side off the road for some reason, and Judah thinks she’s a prostitute. Since his wife is dead, naturally, he runs over to have some fun. They barter, and then Judah sleeps with her. She ends up being pregnant, and Judah (not knowing the prostitute and Tamar are the same) says she must be burned. However, she explains that Judah is the father, so he forgives her.
39: We had this little interlude, but now we’re back to Joseph. He’s sold to an Egyptian guard, and becomes a favored slave. His master’s wife hits on him, but he runs away, leaving his ‘garment’. I’m hoping this is his scarf or something, and poor Joseph isn’t getting a nasty sunburn running around Egypt naked. Then the woman says Joseph tried to rape her, and her husband believes her. Joseph ends up in jail, but the head jailer puts him in charge, which is very convenient.
40: Two men in prison have dreams, and go to Joseph to interpret them. He does, but asks one – whose interpretation is favorable – to think well of him. He forgets, however, and Joseph remains in prison.
41: Two years later, the Pharaoh has a strange dream and brings Joseph to interpret it. Joseph explains that there will be seven years of prosperity and seven years of famine. Pharoah approves of this, and decides Joseph shall become his second in command. The famine arrives, but Egypt has stockpiled grain, and they have bread.
42: Jacob, Joseph’s father, needs grain as well. He sends ten of his sons off to buy grain, and they meet Joseph. Joseph recognizes them and imprisons them, carrying out a grudge. However, eventually he lets all but one go, giving them lots of free grain. He insists they bring their youngest brother, Benjamin, but Jacob refuses to lose another child.
43: The family eventually runs out of food, and must bring Benjamin to Egypt. Once they get there, Joseph rewards them, especially Benjamin, as he is his full brother.
44: Joseph sends all the brothers back with lots of food and money, but frames Benjamin for stealing his silver cup. Judah, who is apparently one of Joseph’s brothers, begs him to reconsider.
45: Joseph finally explains who he is, and his brothers freak out. There’s a lot of weeping and kissing and throwing upon necks. Apparently no hard feelings among siblings, even if they did leave you to die or sell you into slavery. They forgive one another, and the brothers return to Jacob/Israel and tell him the good news. Jacob insists on seeing Joseph himself.
46: Jacob’s whole family travels to Egypt. Joseph orders them to introduce themselves as “keepers of livestock from our youth to even now” so they may stay, because Egypt hates shepherds. I’m not sure how shepherds and ‘keepers of livestock’ are any different, but whatever.
Ugh. If you’re still reading this, you’re a wonder. Even I’m bored, and I’m writing it. Ah well. Now that NaNo’s done, I can promise more interesting posts in the future.